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Writer's pictureWhitney Grinnage

a part of grief

Updated: May 10

“it pains the ancestors when we forget”

and they’ve been in enough pain before.


~~~~~~~~~~~


I think a lot about how

what you miss most from someone

or something

that is no longer with us

are the physical sensations.


I miss the sensation of hugging you.

They were full, thick, loving hugs

that encompassed everything you wanted to

or could not

say.


I miss the sensation of greeting you.

I still remember the sensation it would leave

and I fear for the day when I no longer remember.

I also miss the morale you would bring to a room.

This I will never forget, because a feeling takes a little longer to fade.

But, I miss it nonetheless and I wish for it every day to no avail.

a shame, really.


but these things are out of my control.

They are not for me to have the power to change.

And as hard as it is to accept,

as hard as it is to not have you in my life

I don’t want to change it.

It feels wrong.


The most I can do is

remember, imagine, and recount

to revive people and things that have left us

and keep alive the energy they bring.



*quote "it pains the ancestors when we forget" from Lonnie Bunch, founder of the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC

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